Home Owner Association Horror Stories

Let me tell you about HOA's. First and foremost, it's full of old, retired people with clipboards trotting around the hood half cocked and looking for any kind of code violation they can dream up. Their witches covens get together under the guise of trying to keep the neighborhood looking nice and neat but what they are really up to is the devils business. "How can we make this place a retirement community and take away the Constitutional rights of the people living under our tin-star-dictatorship?" is how the minutes of their meeting should be titled. And then there is me. A bur in the saddle blanket. A fly in the ointment. An irritant, a spoiler... that's me. Why? I just can't let these self appointed monarchies to run my life. No kids playing on our private streets you say? Well, hows about a game of basketball in front of my house and here's the sidewalk chalk while your at it. No flowers in the flowerbed unless they are approved by the head troll? Okay, I am planting my favorites right in front by my steps because they make me happy and they are colorful. Let's play some music in front on the weekends and have the neighbors over in the front yard for a beer while the kids squirt each other with the hose and jump rope. Oops, here comes a member of the something or other part of the board... How can you tell? It's the broom she's riding that's the dead giveaway, oh and the permanent scowl etched into her angry, wizened old face. And before you judge me too harshly, the house we are living in was sold as part of a "family community" that urged people with children to move here. It was not billed as a retirement community. Also, I'm no spring chicken myself. I am not anti-aged, I'm in my 50's. But I am also the mother of two young children who were born after we moved here. I am not ready to be an old geezer who loathes the sound of children playing and having fun. Also, we pay a sizable amount of hard-earned cash to live the American dream and I do not want anyone fucking with it.

Labels: communism, HOA, HOA's